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NINE WAYS YOUR WRITING ANNOYS ME

Got a great story idea? Interesting characters and a unique plot. Wonderful! I’m right there, picking up your book and giving it a read. And as I open to that first page, I’m calling on the writing gods to save me from being consistently annoyed because I really don’t want to end up regretting the time and money I’ve invested.


You know what I’m talking about, and it’s not when the author kills off a favored character or turns the plot in a direction we wish they hadn’t. No, I’m not referring to the story itself. I’m talking about the craft of writing, and I’m specifically referring to those seemingly small things authors do that are hugely annoying to readers.


And believe me when I say that annoying your reader is bad. Very bad, indeed, because annoy your reader one too many times, and they’re out. They’re either putting your book down or throwing it across the room. Or maybe they just have the urge to throw it but won’t actually go that far. Still, I can assure you they won’t be recommending the book to others or writing a glowing review. Neither will they be picking up your next book.


Whether you’re a published author or just an avid reader, you’ve likely seen a few (or a few dozen) of those DNF (did not finish) reviews by readers. There are thousands and thousands of them, and I personally come across a handful or more every week while perusing Goodreads and Amazon.


Ever wonder why these readers don’t bother to finish a book after investing the time and money they put into it? Well, I’m willing to bet money you’ll find the answer to many of those DNFs right here.


Now, perhaps, as a writer yourself, you’re rolling your eyes at me right at this moment and preparing to click your way right out of this site. Maybe you’ve already told yourself that your writing is just fine, and you’re sure there is nothing in this article for you. Well, I’m imploring you to reconsider. After all, if you care even a smidge about the quality of your writing and what your readers think, aren’t just a few more minutes of your time worth knowing for sure?


 

1.       One way an author’s writing annoys me is Too Many Errors.

 

Grammar, punctuation, spelling, missing words, wrong words… All of these errors cause the reader to stumble and momentarily pull them out of the story. More than two errors within a few pages, and more than likely, your reader is done.

 

This is a lesson I thankfully learned early on. Never rely solely on yourself to edit your work. And I strongly suggest you don’t rely on friends, relatives or beta readers to do your editing, either.

 

Of course, every author needs to self-edit their drafts as best they can before submitting their work to a literary agent or publisher. They should also edit to the best of their ability prior to submitting their project to a professional editor. However, you should never stop at self-editing, no matter how good you think you are.

 

Pro Tip: The last step in self-editing before submitting your work should be to listen to your pages being read to you while you follow along on the screen using a text-to-voice program. You will be surprised at how many errors you pick up this way that you missed previously.


 

2.       Another way an author annoys me is with Confusing Dialogue.


Reading fiction, in particular, is an experience, or at least it’s meant to be. We pick up the book with the expectation that the author will carry us away into another world, whether it’s somewhere in this world or a fantasy world all its own. When we read, we visualize the characters and the scenes in our heads (if the author was kind enough to give us what we need to do so, that is) and hear the voices in our heads that we’ve mentally assigned to each character.


So, when we read a section, a paragraph or even a long sentence before discovering that we heard the wrong voice in our heads, that’s annoying. We are then pulled out of the story and have to back up and re-read that section (or often, back up even further to get back into the story) with the correct voice in our heads.


To avoid this kind of annoyance, the author needs to be aware of when they need to let the reader know who is speaking with the use of either a dialogue tag or action tag and give us that information early.


Pro Tip: Put yourself at a distance as you self-edit that final draft, and ask yourself every time you switch characters if you know who is speaking.


 

3.       And speaking of…well, speaking, let’s talk about Overused Dialogue Tags.

 

Too many dialogue tags can also be annoying. No one wants to read “he said,” she said,” or “I said” (or “say” if you’re writing in the present tense) over and over and over, with every bit of dialogue, so pay attention to when a tag is needed and when it isn’t.

 

Admit it, just seeing those dialogue tags, one after the other after another, is simply annoying, and I, for one, will be rolling my eyes before I get to the end of the first page. Guaranteed.

 

If the conversation is clearly between just two characters, you only need to tell the reader who spoke first. As long as your paragraph formation is correct from that point on, and the dialogue goes back and forth between the two, we’ll know who is speaking. You then only need to insert a dialogue tag (or action tag) if one character’s dialogue follows for two paragraphs in a row or (you could say) speaks out of turn.

 

If a third character jumps into the conversation, let the reader know by adding a tag. However, that doesn’t mean you then need to add one to all dialogue from that point on. Did one character ask another a question? Well, then, if the character asked is answering, there is no need to tell us who it is. Get it?

 

Always ask yourself if it’s clear who is speaking. If you have any doubts, add a tag.

 

Pro Tip:  Vary your tags so that your writing doesn’t start sounding monotonous. Switch it up by sometimes using an action tag instead of a dialogue tag. Sometimes, the tag can appear at the beginning of the paragraph, other times at the end, and on occasion, somewhere in the middle. Just keep your writing smooth as opposed to choppy, and you’ll be killing it. And keep in mind my second annoyance above.


 

4.       The fourth way an author annoys me as a reader is by Head-hopping.


If you’re writing in first-person POV, which many of you are doing these days, head-hopping shouldn’t be an issue, and yet many times, it is, although I’ll admit it is more often with a POV violation rather than true head-hopping. However, POV violations are a subject for another time.


Head-hopping is when the author jumps from one character’s viewpoint to another within the same scene. I’ve even seen authors do this within the same paragraph, switching from one to another and back again.


This is extremely confusing for the reader, which is annoying and again pulls the reader out of the story. It’s made even worse when the reader has to back up or read forward just to figure out whose POV the author is in now, then re-read the entire section once they’ve made the determination.


You should only make these switches following a chapter break or scene break, making sure your reader knows whose POV you are now in within the first line or two.


Pro Tip: While writing my first several books, I wrote during lunch breaks and after work, snatching a half hour here and a handful of minutes there. I had trouble remembering whose POV I was in when I broke off and would sometimes end up switching in the middle of a scene. I then had to go backward and rewrite an entire section, so it was in the right POV.


After my first book, I figured out a system that worked perfectly. I would put a sticky note on my screen with the name of the character whose POV I was in. After that, no more rewrites were needed, and I never again had to read what I last wrote before starting up again. (Of course, by my third book, I no longer needed the sticky notes.)


 

5.       You know what’s also annoying? Unique—Okay, I’ll just say it—Unpronounceable Names.

 

Not much annoys me more than stumbling over a character’s name again and again. I don’t care if you’re writing science fiction or fantasy—there is no reason to choose names no one knows how to pronounce but you.

 

It’s so annoying to stumble every time the name comes up and get pulled out of the story as I try to figure out how to pronounce it in my head that, more often than not, I’ll end up just closing the book and tossing it in the donate pile.

 

Just spell it the normal way, please, and if you must use a completely made-up name, something entirely unique to you, spell it phonetically and let the reader know right away how to pronounce it by working the pronunciation into the dialogue.

 

As a side note, please also be sure the names of all your characters differ enough from each other that the reader doesn’t become confused as to who is who. For instance, choosing names that sound similar for characters appearing in the same story, such as Robert, Roberta and Rupert, makes it difficult for the reader to remember who is who.  

 

Pro Tip: If you really want to be different, instead of using off-the-wall spellings that make it difficult to decipher or names no one can pronounce, try using lesser-known names or names that are rarely used today. Or how about naming your characters after seasons, states, cities, animals or things? There are many ways to be different without being annoying.

 

 

6.       That brings me to the next annoyance, which is Confusing Timelines.

 

I have no doubt that I am your average, everyday avid reader. Meaning I’m not unique. And when I’m reading a book, I’m paying attention to the storyline. So, if the author tells me it’s Wednesday and the big heist the main characters are preparing for is planned for Friday, but then five days and nights pass by before Friday finally arrives… Well, let’s just say I’m annoyed.

 

I tell myself that I must have messed up somewhere because it couldn’t be the author who messed up. Then I back up all the way to Wednesday in the story and start reading again, counting those days and nights and checking to see if I misread somewhere. And when I discover it really was the author and not me… Well, let me just say I’m super annoyed.

 

I see authors make this kind of mistake more often than you might think, as well as saying how it’s a full moon night when, minutes earlier in the scene, it’s noted that the characters are soaking in the sun.

 

Pro Tip: Keep track of your timeline while you write. This includes what season your characters are in, what kind of locale, such as tropical or mountainous, and what time of day or night it is at that point in the story.


 

7.       Following the prior annoyance is when authors Lead Me Down a Dead End.

 

There’s a saying, “Make every word count.” Heed it!


I get it. This awesome line or scene popped into your head, and it’s so great that you just have to have it in your story, even though it doesn’t fit into the storyline or maybe even doesn’t quite fit with the characters. It’s too good not to include it. Right? Wrong.


Please do not insert a scene, a theme, or even a single line that leads the reader to believe it’s foreshadowing something in the story but then leaves us alone at the end of the path, hungry, cold and in need of a bat to whack you with.


Save that awesome line or scene for the next book or maybe the one after that. Who knows, if it’s that good, perhaps you’ll build a story from that idea alone.


Every line should make sense and have a reason for being there. And everything should happen for a plausible, logical reason for both the character(s) and the story.


Nothing should be in your story, not even a single line, simply for the sake of sticking it in.


Pro Tip: See number eight below.


 

8.       Another annoyance I can’t forget to add is Downright Plot Holes.

 

Now, you might be thinking I’m repeating one of the two annoyances mentioned just above. Maybe even both. And yes, you could say confusing timelines and lines or scenes that lead us nowhere classify as holes in a plot, or maybe you’d consider them leaks. But I’m going to be more specific here because downright plot holes are beyond annoying.

 

Ever read a story where there’s this really awful character that you can’t wait to see get their comeuppance, and then the author just forgets about them? Or a blooming romance between supporting characters that got going and then…nothing?

 

Any plotline, no matter how small, should be in your story for a reason. And if it’s there, finish it! Otherwise, your reader is going to be beyond dissatisfied and annoyed. We’re going to believe you don’t know what you’re doing or your developmental editor (if you had one) is a fraud, and they don’t know what they’re doing either. And even if the reader finishes your book, they sure as heck won’t be picking up another one of yours or giving you a glowing review.

 

Every plot twist and every plot point should make sense, and everything must have a reason for being there.

When crafting your story structure, your main plot/subplots (which ties into genre/subgenre, your theme, and trope), remember the following: 


  • All plot points need a beginning, middle, and end, and all plot points should connect to the others. I repeat: everything should connect!

  • Each plot point needs an introduction, which leads to the complication, which leads to the escalation, which leads to the climax.

  • There should be no holes in logic and no holes in connection from one to the other. So, be sure you have a solid chain of connection to every twist and turn in your storyline.


Pro Tip: You, as the author, should understand the reasoning behind all of it. What’s the cause, and what’s the effect? Because everything happens for a reason. And just as in real life, every plot point in your story must happen for a reason. 

 


9. The last annoyance I just have to mention is Overused Exclamation Points.

 

You know how when someone writes in all caps, it comes off as yelling? Well, guess what? Exclamation points feel just like that when we’re reading a book. After all, the definition of Exclaim is: To cry out from earnestness or passion; to utter with vehemence; to call out or declare loudly; to protest vehemently; to vociferate; to shout.

 

I once picked up a book from a used book sale written by an author I had never heard of. The author used an exclamation point to cap off practically every other sentence. By Chapter Two, I was exhausted by all the excitement (of which there was none) and all the yelling and shouting (which didn’t fit any dialogue). Needless to say, I never finished the book.

 

I read somewhere that we should keep our exclamation points to no more than two to three per every 100,000 words. Can you believe that? I say, just make sure the exclamation point is warranted and truly needed. And please, please, please, use them sparingly.

 

For instance, if the reader can feel the tension or excitement in the scene and the dialogue, is the exclamation point necessary? Probably not.

 

If you tell us the character is yelling or shouting, we hear it. We don’t also need the exclamation point. If the characters are arguing and the author lets us know one character is shouting at the moment they raise their voice by the use of an exclamation point, we now hear it and don’t need additional exclamation points with all the dialogue from that point forward. Again, we hear it.

 

You can also put emphasis on a word or an entire statement by putting that word or statement in italics. You don’t then also need an exclamation point.

 

Pro Tip: Practice, practice, practice. How? Just write, write, write and read, read, read.  


_______


Hopefully, an awesome editor has your back, but remember, YOU are the author, and you are the one who will pay the price of annoying your readers. So, do yourself a favor and try your best not to irritate anyone today. That is unless it’s on purpose.

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